Need to Know Basis
So Charlie and me go to the Knights of Columbus cookout the other day, and when we get home we have one of those couple conversations. You know the kind I mean: an eye opener.
“Gee, Charlie,” I says “Celeste seemed a little stand offish to me this evening. Not quite herself. Did Bud say anything to you about it to you?”
“Ida, I told you, us guys operate solely on a need to know basis.”
“Well jeez, I haven’t heard from her all week. I think she must be miffed ‘cause I didn’t say anything about her new hair color last time I saw her down to the A&P.”
“Ah, she probably just had a headache or something.”
“Truth is, I thought her color was a little harsh. I complimented her on the cut, though. Maybe I should call her tomorrow. Try to smooth things out.”
“Ida, let it go. You’re making a mountain out of a molehill. It’s probably nothing.”
“Well, I just don’t want her to be mad at me.”
Charlie just shakes his head and chuckles.
“You women take things way to personal.”
“Do, too! Honest to God, do you think I lose sleep over the fact that I never complemented Tommy on his new blue jeans? Or for the sake of argument, have ever heard me say, ‘Last Sunday, when me and the boys got together I told that story again about the time when we were out hunting and Bud got blind drunk, went out to take a leak and got lost on his way back to the cabin. I know I shouldn’t have brought that up because I think I embarrassed him, and now Bud’s probably mad at me. It’s been a week, and he hasn’t called!’ No way. Guys just don’t operate like that.”
“Well, Mr. Smarty Pants, how do you operate?”
“Ida, when we’re together it’s about having a good time and not thinking too hard. Anything else is, like I said before, on a need to know basis. Remember that last time we went to the Pilot’s Grill, and we had to wait in line? That couple that was ahead of us?”
“From Rhode Island. She was a massage therapist.”
“That’s my point. You girls are gabbing a mile a minute, like you haven’t seen each other in years, even though you just met. By the time we’re seated, you know everything about the couple: how they met, how many children they have, grandchildren, you name it. And me? I know jack about the guy. Which is fine, ‘cause I don’t care. I’m never going to see him again.”
“OK, but he was a stranger. When you get together with the boys, you must talk about stuff. You know, your personal life.”
“We don’t go there.”
“Well, you always say you talk about nothing, but I find that hard to believe. You gotta talk about something!”
“What? What do you talk about?”
“Oh, I don’t know. The Sox. Bruins. That hunting trip when Bud got drunk.”
That’s it for now. Catch you on the flip side!
(Listen to Ida's podcast by clicking here)