The Banana Bread Incident
I had a hankering for some banana bread, is how it started. So I bought three bananas when I did the grocery shopping last week. You need ripe bananas for banana bread, so I set them aside thinking, I’ll make the bread this weekend.
I says to Charlie, “I’m saving these bananas for banana bread, OK?”
No reply. “Charlie!” I hold up the bananas. “I’m saving these bananas for banana bread.”
“Heard you the first time, Ida,” he says.
“Well, sometimes it’s hard to tell, honey”
“What do you want to me to do? A cartwheel”
“No need to be sarcastic. A simple “OK” or “yup” would be sufficient.”
Again, nothing. Honest to God! It’s enough to drive a woman to distraction. So, I walk over to the coat closet door and shut it. This is a game we play. Charlie is constantly leaving it open, and I’m always shutting it.
So anyways, back to the banana bread. I found a recipe on the internet that’s real tasty. I cut out some of the sugar, so it’s not too sweet. See, I take a coffee break down to the A&P around 3:00, and a piece of that bread and a cup of coffee is the perfect pick me up.
Saturday, I got busy with other things, so that left Sunday morning for baking. After church, I thought.
Well, as it turns out, I got up a little later than usual. That’s ‘cause I woke up around 4:00 in the morning and just couldn’t get back to sleep. Kept thinking about things: errands I have to run, meals I’m planning for the week. When I start thinking about what I’m going to wear to our Fourth of July picnic, I get up, drink a glass of milk with a little maple syrup in it, skim the latest People magazine, then climb back into bed around 5:30. Went out like a light. Didn’t even hear Charlie get up. The alarm woke me at 7:00.
Before I pour myself a cup of coffee, I notice there’s only two banana in the fruit bowl.
“Charlie, you eat a banana?”
“Half of one, yeah.”
“I was saving those for banana bread!”
“Well, we were out of berries and I needed some fruit for my cereal.”
“Don’t you remember? I was saving those for banana bread.”
“I needed some fruit for my cereal. You still got two and a half.” He goes to the fridge and gets out a Tupperware with the remains of the third banana. “Here.”
“That’s more like a quarter of a banana, and it’s not enough. You need three bananas to make banana bread. I can’t believe you did that!”
“Oh, come on.”
“It’s one thing if you forgot I was going to make banana bread, but the fact that you remembered, and did it anyway! This make no sense to me.” I walk over to the closet door. “And what’s so hard about closing this closet door?”
“It don’t bother me if it’s open.”
I close the door. “I can’t believe you ate that banana. God, the skin was almost entirely black.”
“Nah, it was fine inside.”
“But why would you do that?”
“Just let it go, Ida! It was half a banana.”
“I can’t believe it!”
“Come on, Scamp. Let’s give Ida some quiet time.”
Them two couldn’t get out of the house fast enough. Once alone, I pour myself a cup of coffee, and sit there, staring at those two (and a quarter) ripe bananas thinking, I married an alien. That’s all there is to it. A genuine alien.
That’s it for now. Catch you on the flip side!
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