Did you give up something for Lent? That used to be a big deal, didn’t it? I don’t think people do it so much, now. Oh, I’d like to say I gave up candy, ice cream, bacon and booze for Lent, but I give those up for Weight Watchers, so it’d be cheating.
I’m not a big believer in GPS. My wife, who wears one of those medical alert bracelets that notifies rescue workers that she’s “Directionally Impaired,” recently used her son’s GPS to navigate from Fryeburg to Bethel. Apparently, no one told the device that Route 113 is partially closed in the winter. Because not only is that the road the authoritative voice sent her on, it’s also the one it kept trying to return her to after she discovered the way blocked.
She only made it home after the unusually early spring melt.
The temperature may have cooled off last week, but boy, the crocuses, daffodils and forsythia sure are keeping the faith, aren’t they? Those flashes of purple and yellow make me happy, no end. Spring is here, and the magazines are letting us in on all the hottest fashion trends. As usual, some are confusing, some are just plain foolish, and some, I’m happy to report, us regular folk can actually wear!
Since 2009, sales of Allen’s Coffee Brandy (motto: If All Alcoholic Beverages Tasted Like This, You’d Be A Teetotaler) in Maine have been on a slow decline. No one knows why.
In fact, nobody knows why Mainers drink this stuff in the first place. Seems as if some university science types should be applying for grants to discover the cause. And maybe come up with a cure.
Took Scamp to a new groomer last week. The gal I’ve been using went on maternity leave, and her assistant just wasn’t sticking with the program. Last time, holy cow, he come home with his worst cut yet. Why I was almost embarrassed to be seen with him. In fact, it was so bad even my husband Charlie noticed. I could tell Scamp was kind of weirded out by it, too. Though Charlie says it’s ‘cause every time I saw Scamp I’d say something like, “Oh my, God! You don’t even look like my little Scamp anymore! No, you don’t!
Thanks to prompt action by our legislators and governor, a shocking deficit in this state’s cultural heritage has been filled. Maine now has an official state march. It’s called “The Dirigo March,” written by Leo Pepin of Augusta, who named it after the official state motto: “March.” It sounds like this on the official state MP3.
Geez Louise, the weather has been amazing up here in Mahoosuc Mills! Sure, we had that snowstorm, what, a couple of weeks back. Snowed just enough to remind us what season this really is. Then, poof! It all melted away, just like that! Can’t ever remember having a winter like this. And after last year, with all them blizzards and power outages, it’s some relief, let me tell you!
A few days ago, an inmate at the Cumberland County Jail in Portland allegedly proved himself to be a criminal mastermind. (Please note that I used the word “allegedly” in the preceding sentence, which is supposed to convey to the reader that, yeah, this guy probably did what I say he did, but he hasn’t actually been convicted of anything yet, so I put in that “allegedly” to convey just enough skepticism to prevent him from suing us.
So Thursday, it’s girls night out, and me and the Women Who Run With the Moose (Celeste, Rita, Betty, Dot and Shirley) are having some “refreshments” down to the Brew Ha Ha. You know, “re-hydrating” after Zumba class!
We’re talking about what we’re going to do to celebrate Celeste’s birthday. Her kids and husband are having a special dinner for her, but we’re workin’ on who of us is going to order and pick up her birthday cake.
About a decade ago, the computer at the Maine Department of Health and Human Services (motto: Unhealthy and Inhuman and Not All That Servile) began to malfunction. For a long time, nobody noticed because the program manager in charge of noticing things went out to lunch one Tuesday and didn’t come back for five years.