Maine: The Week in Review Blog Archive May, 2012
In general, I like living in northern Franklin County. It’s peaceful, the neighbors aren’t too close and mostly behave civilly on those rare occasions when we encounter each other, and the general store carries an excellent selection of beer and an adequate stock of liquor (in case I run out before I can get to New Hampshire).
Allow me to offer a few words in defense of the humble plastic bag. This much-maligned, petroleum-derived item has lately been the subject of an effort in Windham to outlaw its use.
The Town Council, at the urging of a middle school student, passed a resolution asking the Maine Legislature to consider a statewide ban on plastic bags, with penalties for possession ranging from public heckling for a first offense to expulsion to New Hampshire for multiple convictions.
As most Mainers know, you can tell tourists pretty much any absurd thing about a lobster, and they’ll believe you.
Lobsters that fly.
Lobsters that sing and dance.
Lobsters that shoot laser beams from their eyeballs.
Apparently, there’s no living creature so repulsive that some kind-hearted soul won’t feed it.
Except, possibly, Newt Gingrich.
In Rockland, a woman has been putting out food each day for the seagulls. She told the Bangor Daily News she buys fourteen or fifteen crates of bread each week for her avian friends, who would otherwise have to fend for themselves on a diet of dead things and trash.
Before I get to the news of the week, I must ask if any of you readers are currently students at one of Portland’s high schools. If so, are you reading this posting on your school-issued laptop? If so, are you aware that by doing so you are not only wasting taxpayer money, you are also employing this technology to undermine the values your parents, the educational system, and society as a whole have attempted to instill in you?
So that’s all good.