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Well, me and the girls were down to the Bangor Mall the other day, livin’ la vida loca, and when it came time for lunch we dropped into Panera.

As I ordered a Chipotle Chicken Panini, and I’m thinkin’, If I’d walked in here ten years ago, and saw that on the menu, the only word I’d recognized would be chicken. I mean, who come up with the idea of the Panini, anyway?
And I hope they got a patent on it, ‘cause it’s everywhere! It was only a few years ago when I didn’t know what the heck a Panini was. Now I get disappointed if it’s not on the menu.

So, we got to chatting about all these new fangled food terms, and Shirley suggested I make a list. so I did. Here goes:

•Chipotle: First off, the way you say it ain’t nothing like how
  it’s spelled. Embarrassing! I think we used to just say “hot
  and smoky,” before. Yummy, but after a certain age, in
  moderation, OK?

•Asiago: Love it! We all do. It’s cheese, right? What’s not to
  love?

•Ciabatta bread: Helpful hint, it’s pronounce like it starts
  with “ch” and that first “a” is optional. Learned this the
  hard way, too. Anyways, it’s too thick for a sandwich in my
  opinion, but good for dipping in olive oil.

•Olive oil: Didn’t grow up with that. We all used Crisco and
  lard. Now, if you follow Rachel Ray, we have to have our
  EVOO.

•Roasted: Fancy-schamancy for baked.

•Sautéed: High-falootin’ for fried.

•Green juice: Kind of like a lawn clippin’ cocktail, only not as
  good.

•Kale: a leafy green vegetable with a big, honking stem.
  Probably been around forever, but suddenly it’s in
  style. I mean, it’s everywhere! People are bakin’ it into
  chips, sautéing it, throwin’ it into everything from a salads
  to spaghetti sauce. Tastes like it’s good for you.

•Gluten: Holy cow! It’s in everything and just about

  everyone is allergic to it! I even personally know folks, like
  Phyllis Tibodeau, for one, who look who feel so much better
  having eliminated it from their diet. But do we really need
  “gluten-free” labels on things that didn’t have gluten in ‘em
   to begin with?

•Vegan: No meat, dairy or eggs. Yikes! I mean, without
  bacon, I’d lose the will to live. But there are variations that
  are doable, like the “vegan ‘til 5:00.” You eat like a monk
  all day, then come five o’clock, you slap a side of
  beef on the BBQ, and follow that with a Ben & Jerry’s
  chaser!

It’s not too bad in our group of friends, of course. Food restrictions are more in the low salt and fat ‘cause someone just had a heart attack category. Or usin’ sugar substitutes because so and so’s diabetic. But in my niece Caitlin’s crowd, wow.

Caitlin told me about this dinner party she threw a few weeks ago. One person’s a vegetarian who “doesn’t eat anything with a face.” Then, you had your vegan. Another’s allergic to soy, dairy, all beans except black beans, corn, gluten and shell fish. Somebody else doesn’t eat nightshades. What are nightshades, you may ask (‘cause I had to). Let’s see, tomatoes, potatoes, peppers, eggplant and goji berries, which are supposed to be loaded with antioxidants, something else I’d never heard of ‘til a few years back. Poor Caitlin! She finally had to make it a pot luck where each guest could only eat the dish they brought. Some kind of party, huh?

All this food talk’s makin’ me hungry. How about chipotle chicken sausage, applewood smoked bacon and asiago, pesto Panini with a side of kale chips, and an acai berry smoothie, followed by a mango and chia seed pudding for dessert. That or a tuna melt, BBQ chips, a Moxie and some Oreos.

That’s it for now. Catch you on the flip side!

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Ida LeClair is the brainchild of humorist Susan Poulin. Visit Ida's Web site at http://www.idaswebsite.com/ or join her on her Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/idaspage

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